Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
