their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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