I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
