Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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