the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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