And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
