her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
