absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
And then he peed in my hair
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