A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
