My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Randomize