Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
