Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
