Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
