Jerry, you need to find god
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Randomize
