i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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