Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
