it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Found the puke drawer
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
