the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
