This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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