Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
