playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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