He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
