he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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