Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
