If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You're like the curious george of whores
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
