what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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