lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
