Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
