I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
