WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
