How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
