i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
