She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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