Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
