forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
