party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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