There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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