i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
