remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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