Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
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