you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
