omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
