the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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