would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
