Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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