i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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