if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
