Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
