Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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