he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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