Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
