my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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