I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
