I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
