piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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