Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
