can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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