Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
