Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize